Breaking the Ice (Men of the Ice, #7) Read online

  Okay, yes, it was safe to breathe. As long as Riley was okay, Noah could deal with with the rest. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It wasn’t Luis, was it?” No, surely not. Riley said he was better, and had even been discharged. It was the first possibility that entered Noah’s head, though. He knew that little boy. He didn’t know any of the others.

  Lauren shook her head. “No. Luis is doing much better,” she said. “It was another little boy, only eight.” She let out a sigh. “We all knew this was coming, but that doesn’t make it any easier to accept.”

  “No, I’m sure it doesn’t.” Noah jammed his hands in his pockets, unsure what to say. Life was cruel sometimes. “Is Riley at home, then?”

  “I assume so, yes,” Lauren said. “Do you know where she lives, or do you need the address?”

  “I’ve got it, thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” For the first time since he got there, Lauren smiled, but it was a forced smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Whoever this young patient was, his loss hit the usually cheerful nurse hard as well. “Go see if you can cheer her up. We’re a little worried about her.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.” Riley’s colleagues weren’t the only ones who were worried.

  Noah jabbed at the elevator button, which thankfully arrived right away and didn’t stop at any other floors. He got off at the parking garage level and jogged to his car. Traffic was fairly light, and ten minutes later, he rang the doorbell at Riley’s house. Now he just had to hope she’d answer.

  It took two rings, but she did. Her hair was disheveled, and she wore no makeup, and only a long red T-shirt that said Indiana School of Medicine. She wasn’t herself, that much was evident. Damned if she wasn’t still beautiful, though.

  “Hi,” he said. “I’ve been trying to call you.”

  Riley met his eyes and nodded. “Yes, I got your messages. You’re persistent.”

  “I got worried when you didn’t answer. I care about you,” Noah said. “Can I come in?”

  Had she started to close the door, Noah was prepared to block it with his hand. Desperate times called for desperate measures. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Riley was upset and hurting, and whatever it took, Noah wanted to help her.

  Fortunately, it didn’t take forcing his way into her house.

  ***

  Riley opened the door wider. “Yes. You can come in.”

  She’d made that decision before she answered the door, after first glancing through the peephole to see Noah’s distorted, but still adorable, face. Being strong and independent was great and all, but Riley wasn’t feeling strong at the moment. She was a mess, plain and simple. If Noah was here to rescue her, pull her out of her funk, she’d let him do it.

  “Thank you.” He stepped inside the entryway, she closed the door behind him.

  “You don’t have practice or anything today?”

  “Optional skate,” Noah said. “I decided to skip it. I was worried about you, since you weren’t taking my calls, so I went by the hospital. I expected you to be working.”

  “I’m supposed to be, but my boss decided I needed some personal time, and he sent me home.” Riley was grateful to Dr. Sanford for that, because after having the chance to stew about it, she realized he was right. She was in no condition to help patients right now. She had to snap out of it, quick, though, or she had no business being a doctor. Braylon might be the first patient she lost, but he wouldn’t be last. She couldn’t fall into a funk every time “What’d they tell you at the hospital?” she asked. “Is Lauren working?” Riley wondered how her friend was handling it.

  “Yeah, but she didn’t tell me much. Just that a young patient passed away, and you were taking it hard, and you had the day off. That’s it,” he said. “Oh, and she did kind of suggest I come here.”

  Riley managed a half-smile. “Lauren’s a good friend.”

  “Yes, she is,” Noah agreed. “I could tell she was concerned about you, but it wasn’t her place to give me all the details. Do you want to talk about it?”

  She didn’t, because it would bring it all back, but Riley knew that she needed to. “Do you want coffee?”

  “I don’t care. It’s up to you.”

  She choked back a laugh. “So accommodating. Yes, I want coffee, so follow me.”

  In the kitchen, Riley went to work. Filter. Grounds. Water. One step at a time. She could make coffee, it might even taste decent, and more things would follow. She was strong. She could do this.

  With the coffee underway, Riley leaned against the counter. She looked at Noah, who stood there quietly, waiting for her to open up to him if she wanted, but leaving the choice up to her.

  “Eight,” she said, once she’d gathered her thoughts. “He was barely eight, and he had a brain tumor. Inoperable. When he was diagnosed last winter, he was given less than a year to live.” Riley took a deep breath. “He actually lasted a year, three weeks, and four days.”

  “So you’re saying he was a fighter.”

  The tears were coming now, and Riley wiped at her face. “Yeah. He was a tough one, for sure, and he gave it the good fight. We all knew it wouldn’t be enough, though, and that it would take a miracle to save him.” She choked out a dry, forced laugh. “It turns out I’m not a superhero, and neither is anyone else on the medical staff.”

  “No. You’re not God, and you’re not a superhero, but that doesn’t mean you’re not an excellent doctor.” Noah walked over and put his arms around her. “Because you are.”

  “It doesn’t feel that way at the moment.” Would she again? Riley hoped so, because she had a lot riding on this career. Noah was right and Dr. Sanford was right. She couldn’t dwell on this. She had to get her focus back. She also didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

  “Noah?”

  “Hmm?”

  “This feels good, you holding me in your arms,” she said. “You know what would feel better, though?”

  “What’s that?”

  “If you kissed me.”

  He pulled back just enough so she could see his face, and the hint of playfulness in his green eyes. “With pleasure,” he said, just before his lips met hers.

  Their first kiss had seen sweet, and this one started that way, too, but Riley wasn’t in the mood for sweet. No, she needed to stop thinking about death, and heartbreak, and her own feelings of inadequacy that she couldn’t do more to save Braylon. She didn’t want to think. She wanted to feel alive. Needed to feel alive. As her body reacted to his touch and his scent, her lips parted, responding to the kiss with hunger.

  Noah reacted as well, pinning her back against the counter, as he nibbled her lips. He reached one hand up her T-shirt and she shivered in anticipation, and then just as abruptly, Noah stopped.

  “What are you doing?” Riley asked as he pulled away. “Don’t you want me?” Right away, she regretted the words. She sounded too needy, too clingy, too pathetic.

  “Of course I want you. I’d have to be crazy not to, and honey I’m not crazy.” Indeed, she could see the desire in his eyes. “I just need to know you’re sure, that this what you want. Because if we do this, there’s no going back,” he said. “You realize that, right?”

  The fact that he said that, took the time to ask, reinforced her decision. Sex wasn’t casual to Noah. He didn’t sleep around. He was searching for something real.

  Riley closed her eyes for a minute, blocking out the fear and the doubts and all the silly objections she’d raised over the past couple of weeks. They were silly. She realized that now.

  Riley snapped her eyes open and met Noah’s and didn’t hesitate at all to answer, “Yes. I’m sure.”

  ***

  The words were music to Noah’s ears. He wanted Riley like he’d never wanted any other woman, but he wouldn’t take advantage of her when she was hurting, and he didn’t want any regrets later. “Okay,” he said, “but not here.” The first time wasn’t going to be on her kitchen counter. “Where’s your bedroom.”


  “Down the hall. Last door on the right,” she said, taking his hand and leading him in that direction. “I have to warn you it’s a mess, though.”

  “I don’t care about that,” Noah said. “I’ll be looking at you.”

  She was right about the room. There were clothes strewn about, and a wad of crumpled up tissues in the wastebasket, as well as a few on the floor that apparently missed their target. Signs of the rough night Riley had. And here Noah had thought his had been bad.

  “I must look like hell,” Riley said.

  “No, I think you look beautiful,” Noah said. When they reached the bed, he pulled Riley’s T-shirt over her head. To his delight, he discovered she wore no bra, only a pair of thong underwear. He sucked in a breath. “Very beautiful,” he corrected, his lips meeting hers.

  As she responded hungrily to the kiss, Noah cupped one of Riley’s breasts in his hand, gently caressing it. He trailed his other hand down the length of her torso to the tiny piece of lace that remained covering her, and then slipped his fingers inside the fabric until he found her core, thrusting two inside her slick opening while also massaging her clit. He kept the rhythm up until her muscles contracted and she arched her hips closer to him. Riley urged him to enter her, and Noah quickly shed his own clothes and covered himself with a condom before thrusting inside her.

  ***

  Riley waited until her breathing returned to normal before daring to speak, and even then she wasn’t sure she trusted her voice. “Now I understand why there is always a rise in births after people go through a traumatic experience,” she cracked. “I mean, not that there’s going to be a baby or anything,” she was quick to add. That would be one quick way to scare Noah off. “Just that I needed that. Really needed it.”

  “Don’t worry. I know exactly what you meant. Sex is comforting. It’s life affirming,” he said. “Especially when it’s great.” Noah leaned over and planted a kiss on her forehead. “And that was incredible.”

  “Yeah.” So much for the coffee they’d abandoned in the kitchen. This was so much better.

  “Are you okay now?” Noah asked. “Or at least getting there?”

  “I think so, yeah,” Riley said after a minute. “I hate feeling inadequate, or that I failed, or that I wasn’t good enough.”

  “None of that’s true,” Noah said. “There was nothing you, or anyone else, could have done to save that little boy. Life’s just cruel sometimes, and someone else had a different plan for him.”

  “My supervising physician said the same thing, and I know it’s true. I know that. Still, he’s the first patient I’ve lost, and it hurts.” She said first, because Riley knew there would be others. It would be naive to think otherwise. “I hope it gets easier, and then I think how selfish that sounds, that I’m thinking about how hard this is on me, when his parents just lost their son.”

  “It’s not selfish, it’s human,” Noah said. “As for getting easier, I don’t know about that. I think you’ll get better at dealing with it, though.”

  He sounded so sure of himself. “Dr. Sanford said something along those same lines.”

  “Then you should listen to him.” Noah smiled. “And me, too, because I have plenty of experience with feeling inadequate and that I could have done more. Last night, for example. I mean, I know it’s just a hockey game and not the same thing, but...”

  “I watched it,” Riley said. “It was kinda rough.”

  “Kinda rough?” Noah laughed. “Honey, that was brutal. I sucked.”

  This was probably the part where she was supposed to say he didn’t play that poorly, but Riley had watched the game. Even not understanding all of the nuances, she knew it had been bad even before the post-game commentary all but eviscerated Noah for his mistakes. “It wasn’t your best game, but you’re not completely to blame. Becker let in four goals.”

  “Yeah, and he’s pissed about, too. Eli’s starting in goal the next game,” Noah said. “I may get benched too.”

  “What? That’s crazy. You’re an All-Star. You have one of the hardest shots in the game.” He sure didn’t deserve to be benched.

  “Which is worth nothing f I can’t aim at a wide-open net. Anyway, we’ll see. It’s up to Coach now. My point is, I have bad days, too, and times I beat up on myself. If I get benched, I’ll respect the decision, and when I get my chance to get back on the ice—and I know I’ll that chance—I’ll give it my all, and I’ll help my team.” Noah looked her right in the eye. “Do you get what I’m saying?”

  Riley did, and she nodded. “Yes. I need to get back in the game. I need to put this behind me and go back to being a good doctor, because I know am one,” she said. “And I have other patients that need me.”

  He grinned. “That’s right. That a girl,” he said. “Starting tomorrow, though. You were given the time off, and we’re going to take it. Get dressed. We’re going out and we’re going to have some fun. Put the setbacks of the last couple days behind us and get our focus back, so when we go back to work tomorrow, we’re at our best.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Riley showered and dressed in her favorite Indiana Hoosiers hoodie, and soon found herself sitting with Noah at the Mexican restaurant where he’d gotten dinner for them the week before. “You do love your tacos, don’t you?” she teased.

  “Yes. They might be the most perfect food. Just don’t tell the folks back in Canada that,” he said. “Besides, I picked this place because it’s close to where we’re going next.”

  “Which is where?”

  “You’ll find out soon enough,” Noad said.

  He’d kept it a secret so far, and Riley was more than a little curious, but in the end, it didn’t matter. She’d have a good time with Noah regardless of where they went or what they did. She didn’t even feel guilty for not being at the hospital. No, she deserved the time off. Noah was right. They could jump back into work tomorrow, but today they were allowed to have fun. She was starting to figure that out, with Noah’s help.

  “I think you’re good for me,” she announced, polishing off one taco and reaching for another. Having spent the day before being too depressed to eat much, she was now starving.

  “Well, I already know I am, but thank you, anyway.”

  “Oh, Mr. Modesty.” Riley rolled her eyes.

  “I can be, at times.” Noah shrugged. “Anyway, do tell. Why am I a good influence on you?”

  “Because you’re teaching me how to relax,” she said. “I admit, when I first met you, I wondered if you were too much of a jokester, if we had anything in common. Now, I’m finding out we do.”

  “I’m glad.” Noah took a drink of soda. “I had a conversation with one of my teammates a few months ago... he’s kind of an uptight guy, doesn’t know when to chill, and he accused me of never being serious,” Noah said. “Anyway, he pissed me off. I like to laugh. I like to have a good time. And yeah, that means joking around, too, but I don’t like it when anyone tries to say I’m not serious about my job. Okay, maybe’s it’s just a game to some, a sport, but it’s also my job. And like you and medicine, I always want to be the best, and when I’m not—like last night—I feel like I’ve let people down.”

  “I’m sorry,” Riley said. “I didn’t mean to imply that you’re not serious about what you do. That came out wrong. I know you are. I meant that you’re helping give me balance, and I need that in my life.”

  “I’m glad,” he said. “And I wasn’t offended. I get it. People have the wrong idea about me sometimes, and maybe that’s my fault for doing stunts with beach balls and capes, but having fun is important. Life’s depressing enough without being serious all the time, if you know what I mean.”

  Riley let out a dry laugh. “Yes. After yesterday, I know exactly what you mean,” she said. She was over serious and depressing, and was ready to have fun. She hated that it took a young boy dying to get her to that point, but also knew it was a lesson well learned.

  “Great.” Noah nodded in the
direction of her empty plate. “Are you finished? Ready to embark on our next adventure?”

  She grinned. “I sure am.” A few minutes later, Riley learned what the adventure was when they parked in front of a miniature golf course. It wasn’t the one with the black lights and scary clown, though. “I suppose I should have guessed,” she said. “But no monsters this time?”

  Noah laughed and shook his head. “No way. I decided I really hate that clown. I think you’ll like this course. It’s actually my favorite in town.”

  ***

  The course Noah chose was Embassy Mini Golf, which was set up like a tropical island. He figured Riley might find the atmosphere soothing, and the fake dolphins and elephants were far less creepy than the clown. “I’d love to take you to a real island someday,” he said, “but for now this will have to do.”

  It wasn’t anywhere close to the same thing. No, lounging around on a beach with Riley in a bikini was far more enticing than putting a little ball around a course. They were in the middle of Texas, though, and the ultimate goal today was to cheer her up. Noah’s island getaway fantasies would have to wait.

  Luckily, it was early enough in the day that they didn’t have to wait too long for a tee time, and were soon headed to the first hole. “Do you want to play first?” Noah asked.

  “Maybe I better not,” Riley said. “I haven’t done this since I was a kid, and I think I’d be better off watching your technique first.”

  Noah grinned. “Are you sure you’re not just saying that so you can check out my butt?”

  “Nope.” Riley smirked. “I’m interested in learning from a master. Your butt is merely an added bonus.” Good. She was laughing, and even flirting with him. They hadn’t even started, and Noah felt as if he’d accomplished his mission. He positioned his ball at the first hole, then assumed his stance. He was about to hit it when Riley whistled.